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Updated: May 13, 2020

Problems do come in relationships. The cause of a breakup is normally not the problem itself but how to solve the problem. Most of these problems start as an ant and end like an elephant. It starts very small but by the time you realize, it becomes bigger.

Today, I will talk about four principles or ways to solve problems in relationships. In my research on this topic, the Lord laid on my heart a story about a man who sowed good seeds. In the night, when they went to bed, the enemy came and planted bad seeds among the good. His laborers came to him and asked to go back and take the bad seeds out of the good but he told them to wait so it all grow together. so at the harvest time, they collect the good from the bad. First of all, let me talk about ANGER. Anger is one of the tools that destroys a relationship. When problems come into a relationship, anger shouldn’t be used as a solution. Anger destroys it. Just as in the story, if the man should have allowed the men to go and cut the tree, it would have destroyed the good because they would have done it angrily.

In relationships, when problems arise, we should always try to control our anger if not we will totally worsen the matter. Anger is very dangerous and shouldn’t be entertained. When the problem arises, try to calm down. Do not confront the issue with anger.

The second principle or way to solve the problem is to FOCUS ON THE GOOD SIDE. As a man or woman, when problems come, we shouldn’t just look at the bad side. We should focus on the good. Focusing on the good side of the person gives you more room to solve the issue at hand. In the story, the owner of the farm didn’t pay attention to the bad seeds but rather focused on the good. He knew it as much as someone has planted bad seeds among his good seeds, his good seeds will still grow. Whenever your partner commits, always focus on the good time you have had together. Focus on the Love and respect the partner has for you. Do not focus only on the problem that has come. Focusing on the good side helps you act appropriately and enable you to find suitable solutions.

The third principle I will like to emphasize is PATIENCE. Patience is another powerful tool in dealing with problems in any relationship. In my story, if the man didn’t exercise patience and allowed his men to go on, it would have destroyed everything. Anytime a problem comes, try as much as possible to cool down. Have time for yourself. Do not confront the issue at once. People who just confront problems at once without looking into it end up deviating. In order for our relationship to work well, we should always walk with patience. There is a saying that, It is patience that is used to bisect an ant in order to see its intestines. So to maintain your relationship, always walk with patience.

The last but not the least principle I will factor in here is RIGHT TIMING. Partners should always try to hint at issues at the right time. Learn to do everything at the right time. The man in my story saw the right time to collect the bad seeds from his good seeds to be the day of harvest. As I said, it is bound for problems to come in every relationship but when it comes, learn to talk about it at the right time. For example, you cannot confront your partner angrily at the time you two are having a good time in bed. It might destroy everything. Problems are meant to be solved but solving it at an inappropriate time is just another problem. Do the right thing at the right time. Find a suitable time to approach a problem.

I will advise partners to adhere to these principles in solving problems in their relationship. Do not solve a problem with anger. Focus more on the good of the person than the problem onboard. Exercise patience and wait until the right time to approach the problem. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.


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